“The commonest word here is ‘the’.
The commonest word in Israel is Eitan.”
Note: I overheard this; he didn’t know I was even listening.
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Sometimes Eitan shows absolutely no emotion. Maybe it’s hysterical because most of the time – as a 5 year old – his emotions overflow. This interaction had me laughing for hours.
We were reading before bed with Eitan the other night. He usually has some dessert at this point, but I think he’s growing because he requested an ice cream and a sunbutter sandwich. Rich speculated that would be a bad idea, but I overruled him.
A few minutes later, after defrosting the bread in the microwave, Rich brings up the requested food. Eitan eats the ice cream first (good kid) and then moves onto the open-faced sandwich.
Eitan: “It’s too hot.”
Dada: “It can’t be too hot; I defrosted it 5 minutes ago”
Eitan, touching it again, “But it is”
Dada: “It can’t be.”
Eitan touches it again. Several seconds go by with him just looking at me, touching his sandwich.
…
“But it is” TOTALLY DEADPAN
I burst out laughing; Eitan starts laughing hysterically causing him to drop his sandwich, which of course lands face down on his blanket.
Then he bursts into tears like his usual 5-year-old self.
For the first time this season, Eitan was out in the cold. We were walking to Dunkin’ last Sunday morning as is our tradition. It was probably in the 30’s out.
Eitan: I can’t go anymore; I’m cold.
Mama: Which part of you is cold? I have a hat and mittens for you.
Eitan: My belly.
Well, I just took him home. Can’t help a cold belly!
The other day, on the way to school, I point out a massive beehive to Eitan. He asked, “how do bees make the beehive?”
Mama: What a great question! I don’t really know. Maybe you can ask Mr. Steve.
Eitan: do they look online?
Mama: No. Bees don’t talk or read. They know how to make a hive instinctively. Do you know what that means?
Eitan: No.
Mama: It means that they can do it without know how. Like when you walk, you don’t need to look it up. You just do it.
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“Um.. Dodo’s a person too”
I didn’t hear the context, but I love this quote.
When Eitan comes home from school, he tends to wander around the house for a bit. I think he is ensuring nothing major has changed.
Recently, while unpacking his backpack, we hear from the dining room “Oooooo yum YUUUUM!”
Eitan had found the Oreos I left out. I found him sitting in my chair, helping himself.
Eitan has somehow internalized my derision for weather forecasters. In particular, I don’t like how excited they get by natural disasters, and how they typically exaggerate how bad a storm will be. I have probably commented on occasion that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Eitan of course took this to the extreme and frequently tells us that meteorologists (my word, not his; I think he calls them weather people) don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve tried to walk that back a bit, since the day-to-day forecasting is usually pretty accurate. However, after hearing this conversation he had with Rich, I think it would be easier to just tell him Jews control the weather.
Eitan: Dada, you should work for the company that controls the weather
Dada: Do you mean the forecasts the weather?
Eitan: Yeah, that
Dada: There’s actually a group called NOAA
Eitan: NOAH???
Dada: Not your friend, it’s actually a part of the government
*Eitan moves on*
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Coming home
Eitan and Rich were playing birthday. A stuffy has a party, there’s cake, presents etc. Suddenly, Eitan announces “Party’s over!”
I’m in the kitchen, listening, and pipe up “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”
Eitan, sincerely distressed, asks “where can we go, Mama?”
Nana changed her purse for the fall to a very large bag with a lot of compartments. She was very excited to show Eitan. When he saw it, his reaction was: “Oh my God, your bag is big.” He sounded just like an adult!
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Grown-up Goals
Eitan: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a truck driver”
Mama: “That sounds great. Where will you live?”
Eitan: “I’m going to live with you forever.”
Mama: “I would like that. You can park your truck in our driveway if you want.”
Eitan: “Yes I will do that. A kid would like to see that. You should buy another kid when I park it.”
Mama: “We can’t buy a person; that’s called slavery.”
Eitan: “Well, you should born another kid.”
Mama: “I’ll think about it.”