Eitan: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a truck driver”
Mama: “That sounds great. Where will you live?”
Eitan: “I’m going to live with you forever.”
Mama: “I would like that. You can park your truck in our driveway if you want.”
Eitan: “Yes I will do that. A kid would like to see that. You should buy another kid when I park it.”
Mama: “We can’t buy a person; that’s called slavery.”
Eitan: “Well, you should born another kid.”
Mama: “I’ll think about it.”
What he says when he’s trying to say “where am I?”, mostly in reference to Mario Kart 🙂
Eitan and I talk about God a frequently. It’s already a somewhat combative discussion as I try to be honest while also providing traditional Jewish answers. Here is a recent conversation.
Eitan: “Mama did God make the oceans?”
Hannah: “That is the story in the Torah”
Eitan: “But what do you think?”
Hannah: “Well I think that’s just a story. Oceans are part of the world (I was not that eloquent but that is the idea).
Eitan: “I think people made oceans.”
Hannah (thankful for an easy one): “No, the oceans were around before people.”
Eitan: “Who made people?”
Hannah (wary): “What do you think?”
Eitan: “I don’t think God made people, the ocean did.”
Hannah (happy Torah and science contradict this): “no, the ocean did not make people.”
Eitan: “Who made people?”
Hannah (darn, back to that): “People descended from monkeys through a process called evolution.”
Eitan: “What’s that?”
Hannah: “The slow process of animals changing. We descended from monkeys.”
Eitan: “Really? Did we eat bananas?”
Eitan is very good at picking up phrases. Here is his (and our) current favorite: “if I do say so myself”
He sometimes uses it appropriately.
Eitan: “When I was a baby, I thought all eyes were marbles. Isn’t that funny of me??”
Rich is trying to get Aquaphor on Eitan prior to PJs.
Rich: “Eitan! Stop jumping around! I just got aquaphor on your penis!”
Eitan (in a very concerned voice): “Is it serious?”
In the car with Nana and Papa.
Eitan: “I’m going to see A Camel on Monday.”
Nana: “A camel?”
Eitan: “A Deer. I mean Adir.”
Names can be confusing.
“The greatest part of my life is my mama and my dada.”
We feel the same way about you!
In the car, on the way to school Monday morning.
Eitan: “I’m worried.” (pronounced woowwied)
Mama: “Usually I’m not worried. You’re great at school and you always have a good day, but today I’m a little worried.”
Eitan: “why?”
Mama: “I’m worried about the lice in your school.”
…
Eitan: “Do Dada’s have babies too?”
Pause while I collect myself and try to come up with an answer per the books: answer the question, don’t provide extra information
Mama: “Only mamas can have babies in their bellies”
…
*MENTAL ALERT! WHAT IF HE THINKS THEY ARE IN OUR STOMACHS???*
Mama: “When I say belly, they are in a different spot than where the food goes. Mamas can still eat. The baby is in a place called the uterus or womb.”
…
Eitan: “How does the baby poop?”
*of course….*
Mama: “it doesn’t use its tush. The baby is connected to the mama through something called the umbilical cord. It connects to the baby’s belly button. The food goes in that way and the waste comes out.”
…
Mama: “The cord gets cut when the baby comes out. It doesn’t hurt the mama or the baby.”
Eitan: “Did I have that?”
Mama: “yes”
*still worried about the lice*
Eitan has a lovely bed. However, he prefers to sleep on his travel mattress on the floor. I always put sheets on both just in case. Yesterday I was trying to decide if I needed to wash the sheets on the bed because he never sleeps up there. I asked Eitan, “do you ever sleep on your bed?”
He replied in the saddest voice, “why? Are you going to send it away?”
Do I have a reputation for being a bitch?