Eitan: are you ever gonna get divorced?
Rich: I’m not planning on it
E: what if somebody really… (takes bite of ice cream, it’s quiet for a long time while Rich and I wait to hear where this is going. Apparently we can’t wait).
Mama: what???
Dada: hot comes along?
Eitan: yeah like boiling to death!
Mama: I guess we’d have to reevaluate!
Eitan to imaginary hot person: want a popsicle?
Category: Thoughts
Eitan was drawing in his notebook and showing me the (minecraft?) animal he designed. It had two enormous black dots on it.
Mama: “That’s great! What are those two black dots?”
Eitan: “Those are its belly buttons”
Mama, treading carefully: “Usually animals only have one belly button”
Eitan, lifting his shirt: “I have two!”
Mama: “Oh you mean your nipples!”
Eitan: “yes!”
Mama: “Ok, the thing down here (showing him) is your belly button.”
Eitan: “Ok I’ll add that too”
Categories
Trip to Vegas
We were leaving Nana and Papa’s house at about 8:45PM. Eitan said, “I think we’re going to get home at 9:10. Mama you guess too!”
I responded, “I think 9:15.”
We got home at exactly 9:10! I told Eitan we should take him to Vegas, and he said, “Yeah, and I can guess the time it takes to get there too!”
Sympathetically. Eitan now does everything sympathetically. Last night, I asked him if he was in his pj’s yet, and I heard, “I’m drying my tush sympathetically!”
Good?
Mama: Eitani, your eye is red. Is it hurting you?
Eitan: No, I was rubbing it a lot
Mama: Ok, let me know if it hurts
Eitan: I rub this eye in winter, summer, and fall. I rub my other eye in the other season.
Mama: Spring?
Eitan: Yeah that one
Mama: Ok, that sounds like a good plan
Eitan: Want to see Bob? [in Minecraft]
Mama: Who’s Bob?
Eitan: My wife!
Note: Bob turned out to be a Pirate Villager
Mama: How was double Hebrew today? At least you’re done for the week!
Eitan: I actually kinda like double Hebrew now… and regular Hebrew too.
Mama: That’s great!
Eitan: I’m almost done learning all the letters and then I can read the whole Torah.
*Proud mama glow*
Categories
When you know, you know
Dada: Mama, why was there so much snow in the car’s radiator this morning?
Mama: I don’t know… oh yeah, I had to pull into a very tight spot last night. Is that bad for the car?
Dada: No
Eitan: What if water gets in the engine?
Dada: That’s bad for the car.
Eitan: What happens?
Dada: You probably need a new engine.
Eitan: there’s only two places that do that, one in You Nork [New York] and one in South Dakota.
Post tub drying time is a great opportunity to practice words you’re not supposed to say.
Eitan: Hamas sucks.
Dada: We don’t use that word.
Eitan: Hamas is stupid.
Dada: Ok. I’ll allow that.
Eitan: I hate Trader Joe’s.
Dada: We don’t use that word either.
Eitan (leaning in close): You’re a Trader Joe.
Going back to school after Thanksgiving break is hard. Eitan claimed he was “sick”. To get him to go to school, I told him he could go to the nurse and come home if he felt worse during the day. Of course, I get a call at 1:30 with a little boy asking to come home, and the nurse telling me there’s no fever. So I sent Rich to pick him up. When he got home we had a little talk, and I explained that this could only happen when he’s coming back from a long break, since that is hard. He responded, “I probably won’t feel well when I come back from Chanukah break either.” Fair warning, mom!