We were walking home from shul recently on a beautiful day when a gust of wind blew. It gave Eitan goose bumps. Here is the subsequent conversation:
Eitan: “What are these bumps on my legs??”
Mama: “Goose bumps”
Eitan: “Am I gonna die??”
Backstory: Eitan was told measles cause bumps, and has been concerned about every bump on his body since then, even though we’ve told him that he’s been vaccinated and cannot get measles.
Eitan: are you ever gonna get divorced?
Rich: I’m not planning on it
E: what if somebody really… (takes bite of ice cream, it’s quiet for a long time while Rich and I wait to hear where this is going. Apparently we can’t wait).
Mama: what???
Dada: hot comes along?
Eitan: yeah like boiling to death!
Mama: I guess we’d have to reevaluate!
Eitan to imaginary hot person: want a popsicle?
Eitan was drawing in his notebook and showing me the (minecraft?) animal he designed. It had two enormous black dots on it.
Mama: “That’s great! What are those two black dots?”
Eitan: “Those are its belly buttons”
Mama, treading carefully: “Usually animals only have one belly button”
Eitan, lifting his shirt: “I have two!”
Mama: “Oh you mean your nipples!”
Eitan: “yes!”
Mama: “Ok, the thing down here (showing him) is your belly button.”
Eitan: “Ok I’ll add that too”
We were leaving Nana and Papa’s house at about 8:45PM. Eitan said, “I think we’re going to get home at 9:10. Mama you guess too!”
I responded, “I think 9:15.”
We got home at exactly 9:10! I told Eitan we should take him to Vegas, and he said, “Yeah, and I can guess the time it takes to get there too!”
Sympathetically. Eitan now does everything sympathetically. Last night, I asked him if he was in his pj’s yet, and I heard, “I’m drying my tush sympathetically!”
Good?
Mama: Eitani, your eye is red. Is it hurting you?
Eitan: No, I was rubbing it a lot
Mama: Ok, let me know if it hurts
Eitan: I rub this eye in winter, summer, and fall. I rub my other eye in the other season.
Mama: Spring?
Eitan: Yeah that one
Mama: Ok, that sounds like a good plan
Eitan: Want to see Bob? [in Minecraft]
Mama: Who’s Bob?
Eitan: My wife!
Note: Bob turned out to be a Pirate Villager
Mama: How was double Hebrew today? At least you’re done for the week!
Eitan: I actually kinda like double Hebrew now… and regular Hebrew too.
Mama: That’s great!
Eitan: I’m almost done learning all the letters and then I can read the whole Torah.
*Proud mama glow*
Dada: Mama, why was there so much snow in the car’s radiator this morning?
Mama: I don’t know… oh yeah, I had to pull into a very tight spot last night. Is that bad for the car?
Dada: No
Eitan: What if water gets in the engine?
Dada: That’s bad for the car.
Eitan: What happens?
Dada: You probably need a new engine.
Eitan: there’s only two places that do that, one in You Nork [New York] and one in South Dakota.
Post tub drying time is a great opportunity to practice words you’re not supposed to say.
Eitan: Hamas sucks.
Dada: We don’t use that word.
Eitan: Hamas is stupid.
Dada: Ok. I’ll allow that.
Eitan: I hate Trader Joe’s.
Dada: We don’t use that word either.
Eitan (leaning in close): You’re a Trader Joe.