Categories
Questions Thoughts

Non-sequiturs

In the car, on the way to school Monday morning.

Eitan: “I’m worried.” (pronounced woowwied)

Mama: “Usually I’m not worried. You’re great at school and you always have a good day, but today I’m a little worried.”

Eitan: “why?”

Mama: “I’m worried about the lice in your school.”

Eitan: “Do Dada’s have babies too?”

Pause while I collect myself and try to come up with an answer per the books: answer the question, don’t provide extra information

Mama: “Only mamas can have babies in their bellies”

*MENTAL ALERT! WHAT IF HE THINKS THEY ARE IN OUR STOMACHS???*

Mama: “When I say belly, they are in a different spot than where the food goes. Mamas can still eat. The baby is in a place called the uterus or womb.”

Eitan: “How does the baby poop?”

*of course….*

Mama: “it doesn’t use its tush. The baby is connected to the mama through something called the umbilical cord. It connects to the baby’s belly button. The food goes in that way and the waste comes out.”

Mama: “The cord gets cut when the baby comes out. It doesn’t hurt the mama or the baby.”

Eitan: “Did I have that?”

Mama: “yes”

*still worried about the lice*

Categories
Ideas Thoughts

A Trip to Staples with Nana and Papa

During chol chamoed Pesach, Eitan is home a lot, and we have to work. Nana and Papa always help out a lot, which we really appreciate. However, having him in the house isn’t very conducive to a calm work environment. I suggested – since Eitan is a great shopper – that Nana and Papa take him to Staples. They came home with some gems.

At one point, Eitan had to pee. Papa took him to the bathroom. They peed together (make an X!). However, Eitan’s pee was much shorter than Papa’s. Eitan was impatient and ended up yelling at Papa, “You’re done, Papa!” and trying to close the lid. Suffice it to say, Papa was not pleased.

When Eitan finally decided to let Papa finish peeing, he went to wash his hands. Suddenly Papa started to hear an electronic sound vroop vroop vroop. He looked around and Eitan was getting paper towels out of the automatic dispenser. Lots of paper towels. Papa called, “Eitan that’s enough!” and Eitan replied, “I’m getting for you!” vroop vroop vroop

Finally, they continued their shopping journey. At one point Eitan was behind Nana. Nana started yelling “where is he?! where is he?!” Eitan popped out, “Don’t freak out Nana”.

They came home with sticky notes, note pads, a new box of colored pencils, a ‘time we’ll return’ sign, and lots of great memories.

Categories
Phrasing Thoughts

Delaying Tactic at Bedtime

We “check” Eitan five times at night before he goes to sleep. There’s always too much conversation during these checks, but this was one of my favorites.

Eitan: “Mama can I ask you something?”

Me: “Anything”

Eitan: “I love you more than anyone in my class”

Me: “I love you more than anyone in the universe”

Eitan: “I love you that too”

Categories
Thoughts

Pooping Expectations

Eitan: “I have to poop. I can go meself [pronounciation].”

Eitan: “There’s pee in here!”

Dada: “That’s okay, you can poop in someone else’s pee.”

Eitan: “No I can’t”

Dada: “Yes you can”

Dada: “Come to think of it, that’s probably your pee.”

Eitan: “There’s pee in here!”

Are we really doing this again?

Categories
Phrasing Thoughts

MadeGood Bars

Eitan recently (and briefly) stopped eating MadeGood bars. We asked why and his response was, “they’re too chocolate chippity.”

Seriously???

Categories
Phrasing Thoughts

Idioms

Eitan’s ability to pick up idioms is impressive – at least to us old people. The other day, Rich pointed out to me that some mold appeared to be growing on some dried flowers. Eitan came over to take a look but after about one second declared, “I don’t want to be involved in this.”

Me neither, kid.

Categories
Thoughts

Lessons

Eitan was playing a game where he leaned a couch cushion against the edge of the couch and walked up it. We warned him, “be careful!” Of course, the cushion slipped and he whacked himself on the edge of couch. His repsonse?

“That was unexpected!”

Categories
Thoughts

Breakfast

Eitan likes to have a frozen waffle in the morning for breakfast, but tends to forget about while he watches his morning TV show. He frequently asks me to reheat it for him. One day, he complained that I burned it (it really wasn’t burnt, just crispier). Getting fed-up, I responded that he could go make his own. His answer? “That’s just an expression for really hot, mama”.

Ok, then. Enjoy.

Categories
Spelling Thoughts

Acronyms

Eitan has been shouting “SOB!” a lot when we are playing. I chose to ignore this, since I felt that asking questions would only encourage this behavior. I didn’t have the courage.

Rich, however, was less careful and more practical. One day, I heard him casually ask Eitan what he means by “SOB”. I held my breath. “It means you need help, Dada,” was the response.

“Oh, you mean SOS, Eitan!”

“Yeah”

The resolution was excellent. Glad it wasn’t me, though.

Categories
Thoughts

Math

Eitan still doesn’t understand the idea of addition, but infinity is a concept he gets. When I put him to sleep, I used to say “I love you more than anything.”

He added on, “more than anything in the universe.”

Then he started saying “more than anything in the universe universe universe universe universe universe universe”

So I changed to “I love you more than infinity and beyond.”

Now he says, “I love you more than infinity and beyond beyond beyond beyond beyond beyond beyond.”

Four year old’s always win :).