We were driving to Nana and Papa’s house one day when Rich and I saw a dead raccoon by the side of the road. To avoid the conversation, we tacitly agreed not to say anything. Apparently, this no longer works, as we hear from the backseat, “Aaaawwww a rat died.”
Absolute sincerity.
Eitan: how are babies made?
Mama: well… you need a mama and a dada.
Eitan: what about families with two dadas?
Mama: they can’t make a baby, but they can adopt one.
Eitan: when I grow up I’m gonna get a wife and make a baby.
Mama: sounds good. Do you know who your wife will be?
Eitan: Maya
Mama: Did you know it’s President’s Day today? When we celebrate past presidents? Do you know who the first president was?
Silence
Mama: George….
Eitan: Washington DC!
Mama: Very good! What about the second? John…
Eitan: John-ny Harris! (a comedian Mama has been watching lately)
Mama gave Dada a bad haircut. to cover up the bald spot, Dada has been gelling his hair so it stands up a bit. Eitan noticed recently: “What’s up with your hair?! It’s like needles!”
We recently woke up to 6 inches of snow outside.
I was lying in bed when he went down the stairs and this is what I heard:
“Wow so high oh my Lord the plows are done we can drive”
Eitan the weatherman’s stream of consciousness….
“OK. Who knows their numbers? It’s okay if you don’t know them.”
Note: I was listening to him in the playroom from the kitchen; he didn’t know I overheard his lesson.
“The commonest word here is ‘the’.
The commonest word in Israel is Eitan.”
Note: I overheard this; he didn’t know I was even listening.
Sometimes Eitan shows absolutely no emotion. Maybe it’s hysterical because most of the time – as a 5 year old – his emotions overflow. This interaction had me laughing for hours.
We were reading before bed with Eitan the other night. He usually has some dessert at this point, but I think he’s growing because he requested an ice cream and a sunbutter sandwich. Rich speculated that would be a bad idea, but I overruled him.
A few minutes later, after defrosting the bread in the microwave, Rich brings up the requested food. Eitan eats the ice cream first (good kid) and then moves onto the open-faced sandwich.
Eitan: “It’s too hot.”
Dada: “It can’t be too hot; I defrosted it 5 minutes ago”
Eitan, touching it again, “But it is”
Dada: “It can’t be.”
Eitan touches it again. Several seconds go by with him just looking at me, touching his sandwich.
…
“But it is” TOTALLY DEADPAN
I burst out laughing; Eitan starts laughing hysterically causing him to drop his sandwich, which of course lands face down on his blanket.
Then he bursts into tears like his usual 5-year-old self.
For the first time this season, Eitan was out in the cold. We were walking to Dunkin’ last Sunday morning as is our tradition. It was probably in the 30’s out.
Eitan: I can’t go anymore; I’m cold.
Mama: Which part of you is cold? I have a hat and mittens for you.
Eitan: My belly.
Well, I just took him home. Can’t help a cold belly!
The other day, on the way to school, I point out a massive beehive to Eitan. He asked, “how do bees make the beehive?”
Mama: What a great question! I don’t really know. Maybe you can ask Mr. Steve.
Eitan: do they look online?
Mama: No. Bees don’t talk or read. They know how to make a hive instinctively. Do you know what that means?
Eitan: No.
Mama: It means that they can do it without know how. Like when you walk, you don’t need to look it up. You just do it.