Mama: Eitani, your eye is red. Is it hurting you?
Eitan: No, I was rubbing it a lot
Mama: Ok, let me know if it hurts
Eitan: I rub this eye in winter, summer, and fall. I rub my other eye in the other season.
Mama: Spring?
Eitan: Yeah that one
Mama: Ok, that sounds like a good plan
Eitan: Want to see Bob? [in Minecraft]
Mama: Who’s Bob?
Eitan: My wife!
Note: Bob turned out to be a Pirate Villager
Mama: How was double Hebrew today? At least you’re done for the week!
Eitan: I actually kinda like double Hebrew now… and regular Hebrew too.
Mama: That’s great!
Eitan: I’m almost done learning all the letters and then I can read the whole Torah.
*Proud mama glow*
Dada: Mama, why was there so much snow in the car’s radiator this morning?
Mama: I don’t know… oh yeah, I had to pull into a very tight spot last night. Is that bad for the car?
Dada: No
Eitan: What if water gets in the engine?
Dada: That’s bad for the car.
Eitan: What happens?
Dada: You probably need a new engine.
Eitan: there’s only two places that do that, one in You Nork [New York] and one in South Dakota.
Post tub drying time is a great opportunity to practice words you’re not supposed to say.
Eitan: Hamas sucks.
Dada: We don’t use that word.
Eitan: Hamas is stupid.
Dada: Ok. I’ll allow that.
Eitan: I hate Trader Joe’s.
Dada: We don’t use that word either.
Eitan (leaning in close): You’re a Trader Joe.
Going back to school after Thanksgiving break is hard. Eitan claimed he was “sick”. To get him to go to school, I told him he could go to the nurse and come home if he felt worse during the day. Of course, I get a call at 1:30 with a little boy asking to come home, and the nurse telling me there’s no fever. So I sent Rich to pick him up. When he got home we had a little talk, and I explained that this could only happen when he’s coming back from a long break, since that is hard. He responded, “I probably won’t feel well when I come back from Chanukah break either.” Fair warning, mom!
I overheard this conversation between Eitan and his friend Z during a recent playdate.
Eitan: I have money.
Z: How?
Eitan: I have an allowance.
Z: What’s an allowance?
Eitan: It’s when you get money and you don’t have a job.
Z: Wait, but how did you get to do this?
Eitan: I asked my parents. You can ask your parents.
Z: My parents don’t let me have money.
Eitan: How about I give you 2 dollars?
I still can’t decide if I’m proud or embarrassed!
Mama: Eitan, what do you think of my new lipstick?
Eitan: mmmm it’s pretty nice. You might look better in blue or red though
Eitan came home from school one day with a laminated piece of paper with the Hebrew alphabet on it. When I took it out of the bag, it was very sticky. I said, “ick! Why is this sticky?”
Eitan replied, “that’s probably the honey.”
“Why was there honey on it?”
“There was an activity. It didn’t go well.”
Pause for laughter.
It turns out it was to teach the children that learning Hebrew is sweet. I’m guessing the “it didn’t go well” was really a teacher’s review that Eitan overheard.
Eitan usually tells us nothing about school. We have to beg for crumbs of information. That’s why I was so surprised recently when he suddenly announced in the car on the way home, “Happy News!”
Mama: “What’s the news?”
Eitan: “Mrs. Rose played at recess today!”
Mama: “That’s great! What did she play with you?”
Eitan: “She was the guard.”
Mama: “Cool. What did she guard?”
Eitan: “The Diamonds.”
I can only assume this was Minecraft-inspired.