Category: Questions

The Weather

Eitan has somehow internalized my derision for weather forecasters. In particular, I don’t like how excited they get by natural disasters, and how they typically exaggerate how bad a storm will be. I have probably commented on occasion that they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Eitan of course took this to the extreme and frequently tells us that meteorologists (my word, not his; I think he calls them weather people) don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve tried to walk that back a bit, since the day-to-day forecasting is usually pretty accurate. However, after hearing this conversation he had with Rich, I think it would be easier to just tell him Jews control the weather.

Eitan: Dada, you should work for the company that controls the weather

Dada: Do you mean the forecasts the weather?

Eitan: Yeah, that

Dada: There’s actually a group called NOAA

Eitan: NOAH???

Dada: Not your friend, it’s actually a part of the government

*Eitan moves on*

Ideas Questions

God

Post author By Hannah
Post date June 17, 2024
No Comments on God

Eitan and I talk about God a frequently. It’s already a somewhat combative discussion as I try to be honest while also providing traditional Jewish answers. Here is a recent conversation.

Eitan: “Mama did God make the oceans?”

Hannah: “That is the story in the Torah”

Eitan: “But what do you think?”

Hannah: “Well I think that’s just a story. Oceans are part of the world (I was not that eloquent but that is the idea).

Eitan: “I think people made oceans.”

Hannah (thankful for an easy one): “No, the oceans were around before people.”

Eitan: “Who made people?”

Hannah (wary): “What do you think?”

Eitan: “I don’t think God made people, the ocean did.”

Hannah (happy Torah and science contradict this): “no, the ocean did not make people.”

Eitan: “Who made people?”

Hannah (darn, back to that): “People descended from monkeys through a process called evolution.”

Eitan: “What’s that?”

Hannah: “The slow process of animals changing. We descended from monkeys.”

Eitan: “Really? Did we eat bananas?”

Questions

PJ time

Post author By Hannah
Post date June 17, 2024
No Comments on PJ time

Rich is trying to get Aquaphor on Eitan prior to PJs.

Rich: “Eitan! Stop jumping around! I just got aquaphor on your penis!”

Eitan (in a very concerned voice): “Is it serious?”

Questions Thoughts

Non-sequiturs

In the car, on the way to school Monday morning.

Eitan: “I’m worried.” (pronounced woowwied)

Mama: “Usually I’m not worried. You’re great at school and you always have a good day, but today I’m a little worried.”

Eitan: “why?”

Mama: “I’m worried about the lice in your school.”

…

Eitan: “Do Dada’s have babies too?”

Pause while I collect myself and try to come up with an answer per the books: answer the question, don’t provide extra information

Mama: “Only mamas can have babies in their bellies”

…

*MENTAL ALERT! WHAT IF HE THINKS THEY ARE IN OUR STOMACHS???*

Mama: “When I say belly, they are in a different spot than where the food goes. Mamas can still eat. The baby is in a place called the uterus or womb.”

…

Eitan: “How does the baby poop?”

*of course….*

Mama: “it doesn’t use its tush. The baby is connected to the mama through something called the umbilical cord. It connects to the baby’s belly button. The food goes in that way and the waste comes out.”

…

Mama: “The cord gets cut when the baby comes out. It doesn’t hurt the mama or the baby.”

Eitan: “Did I have that?”

Mama: “yes”

*still worried about the lice*

Questions

Mama, the bitch

Eitan has a lovely bed. However, he prefers to sleep on his travel mattress on the floor. I always put sheets on both just in case. Yesterday I was trying to decide if I needed to wash the sheets on the bed because he never sleeps up there. I asked Eitan, “do you ever sleep on your bed?”

He replied in the saddest voice, “why? Are you going to send it away?”

Do I have a reputation for being a bitch?

Questions

Never easy

Eitan runs into his bedroom after tub, completely naked.

Rich from the bathroom: “Come back here to get dressed!”

Me: “Go back to Dada and get your aquaphor on.”

Eitan: “I don’t need aquaphor.”

Me: “Yes you do, maybe you don’t need [eczema] medicine.”

Eitan: “I don’t need medicine.”

Me: “I know; you need aquaphor.”

Eitan: “Why?”

Questions

Gears are Turning

While watching Lego City Adventures this morning and coloring, Eitan suddenly asked, “How did Moshe DO that?”

I looked down and saw that he was coloring in a Pesach coloring book. The picture was the Israelites walking through the Red Sea behind Moshe.

I decided that the simplest answer was best, “God helped.”

Questions

The Places We Go

Because of Covid, Eitan hadn’t been to a public library. One day, I asked him if he wanted to check out our local Needham library. His response: “Do they have toys there?”

… pause to acknowledge parental fail here…

I told him I didn’t think so, since a library is for books. He acquiesced, though, and lo and behold, they do have toys in the library. Lesson learned.

Ideas Questions Thoughts

Loving Shabbat

To continue our Christian versus Jewish discussions, Eitan recently became aware that Rich’s parents are not Jewish.

Eitan: “What holidays do Ooma and Oompa have?”

Mama: “Well, they don’t have as many as us. Ooma and Oompa celebrate Christmas and Easter”

Eitan: “Keep telling me”

Mama: “That’s it”

*shocked silence* Note: this was during the Days of Awe

… several days go by …

Eitan: “Ooma and Oompa don’t celebrate Shabbat?”

Mama: “No, they don’t have Shabbat”

Eitan: “That makes me sad for them”

Mama: “It warms my heart that you love Shabbat so much”

Papa: “It warms my heart that you are thinking about how other people feel!”

Questions Thoughts

Conversion

Eitan is starting to become very interested in categorizing people. Boy/girl, old/young, Jewish/not. He recently became aware that his Dada converted to Judaism; it was never a secret, but it doesn’t come up much. To summarize a long conversation:

Eitan: “You used to be Christian and then you became Jewish, Dada?”

Dada: “That’s right”

Eitan: “Did you need to get a shot?”

Some things are just always on our mind…