Category: Phrasing

Eitan: “God told people they had to move the Torah everyday. Some people didn’t think everyday was a thing, but everyday was a thing. They had horses that…”

(Proceeds to fart)

“Farted! Haha. I’m just kidding. The horses didn’t fart. That’s not part of the story.”

We were driving to Nana and Papa’s house one day when Rich and I saw a dead raccoon by the side of the road. To avoid the conversation, we tacitly agreed not to say anything. Apparently, this no longer works, as we hear from the backseat, “Aaaawwww a rat died.”

Absolute sincerity.

We recently woke up to 6 inches of snow outside.

I was lying in bed when he went down the stairs and this is what I heard:

“Wow so high oh my Lord the plows are done we can drive”

Eitan the weatherman’s stream of consciousness….

Sometimes Eitan shows absolutely no emotion. Maybe it’s hysterical because most of the time – as a 5 year old – his emotions overflow. This interaction had me laughing for hours.

We were reading before bed with Eitan the other night. He usually has some dessert at this point, but I think he’s growing because he requested an ice cream and a sunbutter sandwich. Rich speculated that would be a bad idea, but I overruled him.

A few minutes later, after defrosting the bread in the microwave, Rich brings up the requested food. Eitan eats the ice cream first (good kid) and then moves onto the open-faced sandwich.

Eitan: “It’s too hot.”

Dada: “It can’t be too hot; I defrosted it 5 minutes ago”

Eitan, touching it again, “But it is”

Dada: “It can’t be.”

Eitan touches it again. Several seconds go by with him just looking at me, touching his sandwich.

…

“But it is” TOTALLY DEADPAN

I burst out laughing; Eitan starts laughing hysterically causing him to drop his sandwich, which of course lands face down on his blanket.

Then he bursts into tears like his usual 5-year-old self.

The other day, on the way to school, I point out a massive beehive to Eitan. He asked, “how do bees make the beehive?”

Mama: What a great question! I don’t really know. Maybe you can ask Mr. Steve.

Eitan: do they look online?

Mama: No. Bees don’t talk or read. They know how to make a hive instinctively. Do you know what that means?

Eitan: No.

Mama: It means that they can do it without know how. Like when you walk, you don’t need to look it up. You just do it.

When Eitan comes home from school, he tends to wander around the house for a bit. I think he is ensuring nothing major has changed.

Recently, while unpacking his backpack, we hear from the dining room “Oooooo yum YUUUUM!”

Eitan had found the Oreos I left out. I found him sitting in my chair, helping himself.

Nana changed her purse for the fall to a very large bag with a lot of compartments. She was very excited to show Eitan. When he saw it, his reaction was: “Oh my God, your bag is big.” He sounded just like an adult!