Category: Ideas

I’ve been reading to Eitan “Does God Have a Big Toe?” every night. We are loving the stories, and I’m loving the ensuing discussion.

Eitan: Where is the Garden of Eden?

Mama: No one knows

Eitan: I’m going to find it

Mama: I don’t think that’s possible; I think God hid it

Eitan: How? Is it protected?

Mama: I don’t know; I’ll get back to you

…. Mama learns the exact answer in Torah study that Shabbat …

Mama: I have an answer for you. God stationed an angel outside of the garden to protect it, with a fiery ever-turning sword. The angel is enormous, with the body of a lion and wings like an eagle.

Eitan: I can take him.

Eitan: “If God knows everything that will happen, why did he put Adam and Eve in the garden if he knew he would just kick them out?”

Sometimes, the question is more important than the answer.

The best conversations happen with Eitan on the toilet.

Eitan: “What if I get poop on the toilet seat?”

Mama: “We’ll clean it.”

Eitan: “What if you can’t clean it?”

Mama: “There was a book in my house when I was growing up called How to Clean Everything.”

Eitan: “Oh, a How-To book.”

Mama: “Yes – you know about those?”

Eitan: “Yes, Emily reads them to us.”

Mama: “Really? What kind-of How-To books?”

Eitan: “You know… like… How To Train a Lion.”

Mama: “Wow that sounds exciting.”

Eitan: “You know I’m writing a How-To book.”

Mama: “What is yours about?”

Eitan: “How to Keep a Puppy. Step 1. Get a puppy. Step 2. Get a bowl. Step 3. Get dog food. Step 4. Feed the puppy. Step 5. Get a leash….”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember all his steps, but there were 10! By then, he was done pooping and life went on.

During chol chamoed Pesach, Eitan is home a lot, and we have to work. Nana and Papa always help out a lot, which we really appreciate. However, having him in the house isn’t very conducive to a calm work environment. I suggested – since Eitan is a great shopper – that Nana and Papa take him to Staples. They came home with some gems.

At one point, Eitan had to pee. Papa took him to the bathroom. They peed together (make an X!). However, Eitan’s pee was much shorter than Papa’s. Eitan was impatient and ended up yelling at Papa, “You’re done, Papa!” and trying to close the lid. Suffice it to say, Papa was not pleased.

When Eitan finally decided to let Papa finish peeing, he went to wash his hands. Suddenly Papa started to hear an electronic sound vroop vroop vroop. He looked around and Eitan was getting paper towels out of the automatic dispenser. Lots of paper towels. Papa called, “Eitan that’s enough!” and Eitan replied, “I’m getting for you!” vroop vroop vroop

Finally, they continued their shopping journey. At one point Eitan was behind Nana. Nana started yelling “where is he?! where is he?!” Eitan popped out, “Don’t freak out Nana”.

They came home with sticky notes, note pads, a new box of colored pencils, a ‘time we’ll return’ sign, and lots of great memories.

Eitan knows that after fifth check at night we don’t come back in, and it’s time to rest. The goal being sleep, of course.

The other night he was having a lot of trouble, and talking to himself. We heard snippets such as “Bennett please play with me.” and “how do I play with them?”. So of course, when the call to me came, I went in to have a little discussion.

First, I got a big story about trouble playing with Bennett and Asher. I suggested asking them how to play. Hard no. I suggested asking a teacher to help play with them. Some hesitancy, but he didn’t like that idea either.

Finally, I said I would talk to his teachers in the morning. He gave me an innocent look and said, “this didn’t really happen, mama”.

GO TO SLEEP, Eitan.

I love you.