“This fell off” Eitan wanders into the playroom where Dada, Mama, Nana, and Papa are hanging out, holding up a leaf from Mama’s single plant.
I clearly was not paying close enough attention, but Papa was. “It just happened to fall off while you were walking by with scissors?”
Eitan, trying to hide the scissors behind his back, “Yes”
All of us: “really?”
Eitan: “Maybe I cut it.”
We were driving to Nana and Papa’s house one day when Rich and I saw a dead raccoon by the side of the road. To avoid the conversation, we tacitly agreed not to say anything. Apparently, this no longer works, as we hear from the backseat, “Aaaawwww a rat died.”
Absolute sincerity.
I purposely put Hershey kisses in the same container as Eitan’s carrots. When he came home from school, both kisses and one carrot were missing!
Mama: Good job, Eitan. You ate a carrot! I knew putting them with the kisses would help.
Eitan: no I didn’t.
Mama: What?
Eitan: the carrot fell out while I was getting the kisses.
At least he’s honest…
Eitan: how are babies made?
Mama: well… you need a mama and a dada.
Eitan: what about families with two dadas?
Mama: they can’t make a baby, but they can adopt one.
Eitan: when I grow up I’m gonna get a wife and make a baby.
Mama: sounds good. Do you know who your wife will be?
Eitan: Maya
Mama: Did you know it’s President’s Day today? When we celebrate past presidents? Do you know who the first president was?
Silence
Mama: George….
Eitan: Washington DC!
Mama: Very good! What about the second? John…
Eitan: John-ny Harris! (a comedian Mama has been watching lately)
Mama gave Dada a bad haircut. to cover up the bald spot, Dada has been gelling his hair so it stands up a bit. Eitan noticed recently: “What’s up with your hair?! It’s like needles!”
We recently woke up to 6 inches of snow outside.
I was lying in bed when he went down the stairs and this is what I heard:
“Wow so high oh my Lord the plows are done we can drive”
Eitan the weatherman’s stream of consciousness….
“OK. Who knows their numbers? It’s okay if you don’t know them.”
Note: I was listening to him in the playroom from the kitchen; he didn’t know I overheard his lesson.
“The commonest word here is ‘the’.
The commonest word in Israel is Eitan.”
Note: I overheard this; he didn’t know I was even listening.
Sometimes Eitan shows absolutely no emotion. Maybe it’s hysterical because most of the time – as a 5 year old – his emotions overflow. This interaction had me laughing for hours.
We were reading before bed with Eitan the other night. He usually has some dessert at this point, but I think he’s growing because he requested an ice cream and a sunbutter sandwich. Rich speculated that would be a bad idea, but I overruled him.
A few minutes later, after defrosting the bread in the microwave, Rich brings up the requested food. Eitan eats the ice cream first (good kid) and then moves onto the open-faced sandwich.
Eitan: “It’s too hot.”
Dada: “It can’t be too hot; I defrosted it 5 minutes ago”
Eitan, touching it again, “But it is”
Dada: “It can’t be.”
Eitan touches it again. Several seconds go by with him just looking at me, touching his sandwich.
…
“But it is” TOTALLY DEADPAN
I burst out laughing; Eitan starts laughing hysterically causing him to drop his sandwich, which of course lands face down on his blanket.
Then he bursts into tears like his usual 5-year-old self.