Mama: “I’ll get bagels for Shabbat, but we’ll have bread the rest of the week”
Eitan: “Only bread? What are we, poor?”
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Healthy Eating
Eitan: “I want ice cream.”
Mama: “Can you choose something healthy?”
Eitan: “Vanilla”
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Important questions
We went to a Woo Sox game yesterday and also watched a baseball recap last night. During cozy time we were reading when Eitan suddenly asks, “do baseball players wear underpants?”
At first, I unequivocally said “yes”, but then I realized I didn’t know! I added, “I think”. He seemed okay with that answer.
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Not exactly but close enough
As always the best conversations happen on the toilet. Eitan was pooping. He asked to watch the music video for the Weird Al Star Wars song “The Saga Begins”. We get to the middle of the song, and I realize he’s done pooping and has been sitting there a while. I suggest we pause so he can get up, to prevent his legs from falling asleep.
He agrees and gets up. Then says, “my leg is tired.” 🙂
Then, “now it hurts!”
I explained that that’s called pins and needles and is just the blood coming back to his leg. He seemed cool with that.
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Internal GPS
Eitan is really good with directions. This was made very clear to Nana and Papa on a trip to the library:
We were driving down Great Plain Avenue and pulled into the lot next to the library, although the GPS said to go further and take a right on Rosemary Road.
Eitan said the GPS was correct so we left the lot, made the right on Rosemary Road and right he was…there was the main entrance to the library and the parking lot.
He really remembers these kind of things.Â
Eitan: “God told people they had to move the Torah everyday. Some people didn’t think everyday was a thing, but everyday was a thing. They had horses that…”
(Proceeds to fart)
“Farted! Haha. I’m just kidding. The horses didn’t fart. That’s not part of the story.”
The best conversations happen with Eitan on the toilet.
Eitan: “What if I get poop on the toilet seat?”
Mama: “We’ll clean it.”
Eitan: “What if you can’t clean it?”
Mama: “There was a book in my house when I was growing up called How to Clean Everything.”
Eitan: “Oh, a How-To book.”
Mama: “Yes – you know about those?”
Eitan: “Yes, Emily reads them to us.”
Mama: “Really? What kind-of How-To books?”
Eitan: “You know… like… How To Train a Lion.”
Mama: “Wow that sounds exciting.”
Eitan: “You know I’m writing a How-To book.”
Mama: “What is yours about?”
Eitan: “How to Keep a Puppy. Step 1. Get a puppy. Step 2. Get a bowl. Step 3. Get dog food. Step 4. Feed the puppy. Step 5. Get a leash….”
Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember all his steps, but there were 10! By then, he was done pooping and life went on.
“This fell off” Eitan wanders into the playroom where Dada, Mama, Nana, and Papa are hanging out, holding up a leaf from Mama’s single plant.
I clearly was not paying close enough attention, but Papa was. “It just happened to fall off while you were walking by with scissors?”
Eitan, trying to hide the scissors behind his back, “Yes”
All of us: “really?”
Eitan: “Maybe I cut it.”
We were driving to Nana and Papa’s house one day when Rich and I saw a dead raccoon by the side of the road. To avoid the conversation, we tacitly agreed not to say anything. Apparently, this no longer works, as we hear from the backseat, “Aaaawwww a rat died.”
Absolute sincerity.
I purposely put Hershey kisses in the same container as Eitan’s carrots. When he came home from school, both kisses and one carrot were missing!
Mama: Good job, Eitan. You ate a carrot! I knew putting them with the kisses would help.
Eitan: no I didn’t.
Mama: What?
Eitan: the carrot fell out while I was getting the kisses.
At least he’s honest…