When Eitan comes home from school, he tends to wander around the house for a bit. I think he is ensuring nothing major has changed.
Recently, while unpacking his backpack, we hear from the dining room “Oooooo yum YUUUUM!”
Eitan had found the Oreos I left out. I found him sitting in my chair, helping himself.
Eitan has somehow internalized my derision for weather forecasters. In particular, I don’t like how excited they get by natural disasters, and how they typically exaggerate how bad a storm will be. I have probably commented on occasion that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
Eitan of course took this to the extreme and frequently tells us that meteorologists (my word, not his; I think he calls them weather people) don’t know what they’re doing. I’ve tried to walk that back a bit, since the day-to-day forecasting is usually pretty accurate. However, after hearing this conversation he had with Rich, I think it would be easier to just tell him Jews control the weather.
Eitan: Dada, you should work for the company that controls the weather
Dada: Do you mean the forecasts the weather?
Eitan: Yeah, that
Dada: There’s actually a group called NOAA
Eitan: NOAH???
Dada: Not your friend, it’s actually a part of the government
*Eitan moves on*
Eitan and Rich were playing birthday. A stuffy has a party, there’s cake, presents etc. Suddenly, Eitan announces “Party’s over!”
I’m in the kitchen, listening, and pipe up “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”
Eitan, sincerely distressed, asks “where can we go, Mama?”
Nana changed her purse for the fall to a very large bag with a lot of compartments. She was very excited to show Eitan. When he saw it, his reaction was: “Oh my God, your bag is big.” He sounded just like an adult!
Eitan: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a truck driver”
Mama: “That sounds great. Where will you live?”
Eitan: “I’m going to live with you forever.”
Mama: “I would like that. You can park your truck in our driveway if you want.”
Eitan: “Yes I will do that. A kid would like to see that. You should buy another kid when I park it.”
Mama: “We can’t buy a person; that’s called slavery.”
Eitan: “Well, you should born another kid.”
Mama: “I’ll think about it.”
What he says when he’s trying to say “where am I?”, mostly in reference to Mario Kart 🙂
Eitan and I talk about God a frequently. It’s already a somewhat combative discussion as I try to be honest while also providing traditional Jewish answers. Here is a recent conversation.
Eitan: “Mama did God make the oceans?”
Hannah: “That is the story in the Torah”
Eitan: “But what do you think?”
Hannah: “Well I think that’s just a story. Oceans are part of the world (I was not that eloquent but that is the idea).
Eitan: “I think people made oceans.”
Hannah (thankful for an easy one): “No, the oceans were around before people.”
Eitan: “Who made people?”
Hannah (wary): “What do you think?”
Eitan: “I don’t think God made people, the ocean did.”
Hannah (happy Torah and science contradict this): “no, the ocean did not make people.”
Eitan: “Who made people?”
Hannah (darn, back to that): “People descended from monkeys through a process called evolution.”
Eitan: “What’s that?”
Hannah: “The slow process of animals changing. We descended from monkeys.”
Eitan: “Really? Did we eat bananas?”
Eitan is very good at picking up phrases. Here is his (and our) current favorite: “if I do say so myself”
He sometimes uses it appropriately.
Eitan: “When I was a baby, I thought all eyes were marbles. Isn’t that funny of me??”
Rich is trying to get Aquaphor on Eitan prior to PJs.
Rich: “Eitan! Stop jumping around! I just got aquaphor on your penis!”
Eitan (in a very concerned voice): “Is it serious?”